Of all the recent news, and there's plenty to discuss, the one that grabs my heart the most comes out of Laurel Montana. It involves a mom, Andrea and her daughter, Addison. Andrea was doing what probably almost every other mom does every day: multitask. Watch the kids, do dishes, laundry, vacuum, mow the lawn. Every day, mom's do this! We always check on our kids, probably to the point of obsessiveness to reassure our kids safety, then proceed to the next chore. It makes a 5 minute task take twice as long. But, it's peace of mind that is more important than completing the chore in record time.
So, just like any other responsible mom, Andrea checked on her kids. Assured of their well being, she went back to her chore that day of mowing the lawn. Then her world fell apart. A blood curling scream went out and of all horrors, her 2 year old, who was with her older sister, had left the area her mom had just checked and was behind her mom (probably wanting to tell her something). Without knowing it, Andrea back up the lawn mower, with the blades going, and backed over her baby, Addison. With all the immediate response of first responders, and quick thinking of her mom to apply pressure to Addison's wounds, Addison lost both her legs below the knee. Now this family will endure years of prosthetic changes, surgeries and more agonizing, the thought of "What if...". This story just broke my heart.
I understand this mom's situation. We had a home accident with Aria when she was just 7 months old. I was sitting in the recliner and Aria was just learning to crawl around. She got underneath the foot rest and started to whimper. Holding the foot rest up, I released the mechanism so I could reach down to grab her from underneath. The force of the mechanism was great enough to give Aria what the doctor called a "ping-pong ball fracture" of the skull. Looking back, maybe I should've just climbed out of the recliner and not released any mechanism. But what happened was done. I didn't even know anything had happened till I put my hand on her head while comforting her cries (which were probably from pain, tho I didn't realize it at the time) and noted a rather deep impression on the right side of her head. Have you ever felt so scared that you couldn't breath, that you felt like you'd puke, like the floor underneath you was caving in but you weren't moving? Well, that's is putting how I felt at that moment very mildly. I for the life of me had no idea what could've caused it at first. We rushed to the hospital in Havre, then were airlifted to Billings. Thankfully, Aria's CTs were all negative. She didn't even get any bruising to the area. The doctor said as her brain grew and her skull hardened, the area would "pop out", hence the ping-pong fracture term. It really wasn't a fracture, but we had to monitor just in case. Now there a small indent on her scalp that is hardly noticeable. But the horror of that day will stay with me forever. As will the "what if". Just like this mom, Andrea. I've read some scathing remarks towards this mom, how irresponsible she is, how her kids are in harms way as long as they are in her care... it's maddening to read it. One of my greatest fears as we waited in the ER with Aria that day was a social service worker coming in to take my baby away from me. Thankfully, the nurses and doctors there understood this was an accident. Perhaps things could've gone differently, but that's hind-site. After the incident, it's always easy to know the could've-should've-would'ves. I believe 100% the same can be said for Andrea. An unfortunate accident occurred. No one needs to beat her up, verbally or otherwise. She's doing enough of that to herself as it is. Plus, she'll be reminded of it every time she watches her little Addison struggle to cope with her injury. But like any other accident, you deal with it; accept, adapt and move on. It's easier said than done, but that is life. In what was just another day with the kids and chores, turned into a life changing event. Most of us are so lucky enough to not have something like this happen to us. Admit it, even when you think you're so careful, and so observant, if one thing didn't go right, we'd be in the same situation. It's God's grace that more of us can't relate to Andrea. There is a reason for this, and Andrea and Addison will come out of this better than before, I believe that. But people need to understand this young family is no different, no more careless, no more undeserving of their kids than the next. Addison will have the loving support of her mom and dad and sister to help her cope and heal. But Andrea needs to know that more than Addison. She's a good mom, who makes mistake daily. Just like me, just like you. Her mistake may have been more life changing, but it doesn't disqualify her as a parent.
My thoughts and prayer are for Addison to heal quickly. But they but they are more with Andrea who will deal with shameful (unnecessary) looks, sighs of disgust (unfounded), tisks of disapproval (unneeded) whenever she goes to the store, the post office, the doctor. I hope she will and is receiving the loving support of empathetic people who understand it was an accident and only that. Committed by a loving mom just trying to do what mom's do: multitask.