love/hate

My love/hate relationship with technology continues. I got an early Christmas present: Asus touch pad. It is sweet. I am really new to the app world and frankly don't know where to start. When we were in Billings, Tony waited in line at Best Buy for 5 hours to get it for me. How nice is that? It's been fun playing around with, tho. I have one app downloaded so far and it may be my only one: Angry Birds. This is the most stupidly addicting game ever!

So I've been loving that and then reality kicks in. Somehow, my email account was hacked and people on my contact list have been receiving emails from "me". It's in my name, but it's not really me. It's spam. I've gotten them from others in the past, but when it happens to you, it's a really helpless feeling. And angering. Why are there assholes out there who have nothing better to do than do stuff like this?! People like this, if caught deserve severe punishing in my book. I don't care who you are, if this is a fun hobby for you, let's erase your identity and memory for funzies and see how that feels! The microsoft people at hotmail have frozen my account for now while they verify some information I sent to them to get my account back, but it really makes me mad that I did nothing wrong and I have to suffer. What about the $#!+ who did this? What happens to them? Probably nothing. That's the thing with being online... you can be anyone at anytime. So, there's my hate. Right when I start to love technology, I'm reminded why I hate it!

So if you're reading this, and you're on my contact list, I'm sorry. I haven't emailed anyone in about a week and a half, so if you have something on your subject line from me recently, it isn't me. I was just telling someone the other day how glad I am to have the same email from day one and now it looks like it may have to change. We'll see. Again, sorry about all of this.

30 Days of Thankfulness

First off, I am such a slacker in the NFL department. I'm really sorry for this. And it would be such a great year for me to post stuff as my '9ers have one of the best records in the league! I've been watching regularly, however, so I am fully aware of what is going on and such. I'm truly missing Peyton Manning, as I'm sure the Colts nation is too.

Now, on to other things! As you should know, Thanksgiving is this Thursday. We are going to Billings to celebrate with my family. I honestly can't remember the last time I spent Thanksgiving or Christmas with them in Billings. I am really looking forward to this trip. As we get ready to reflect on how blessed we are, I thought I'd post mine here, one for each day of the month of November. I could probably go past 30 easily, but these stand out the most.

1. I am thankful for our beautiful daughter, Taryn Kennedy, born this year. She is healthy, sweet, and such a joy to our family.

2. I am thankful for my husband's health. It's sad how a major medical issue can make you appreciate a "normal" healthy day. This year has been a challenge for us, for sure, but we're stronger than ever as a couple and I am so glad Tony has recovered almost 100%!

3. I am so thankful for my family! They really are the reason we made it thru this year. Rick, Debbie, Dustin, Kim, Craig, and Heidi went above and beyond for us. I don't know if we'll ever be able to repay them or know how truly grateful I am for each of them. My mom and dad, and my awesome sister, Marcia checked on us often, send cards and balloons/flowers. Tho they weren't here all the time, their prayers and support were just as meaningful. But over all of that, they are all wonderful people to not only know, but be related to!

4. I am thankful for my friends. So many of them called or emailed to check on me. I want to single out a few as their friendship means more to me than anything. To Kris, no matter how long we go between face to face visits, we just pick up where we left off! I love that about us! To Amy, your emails always make me smile and I learn so much from you - your a wonderful example of a mom to me! To Joette, our friendship has really grown this past year. We are kindred spirits! To my sister, Marcia, you are my sister and greatest friend. I can express any thoughts or emotions to you and you just get me. You are a great listener, great advice giver, great mom, great everything. I'm so lucky to be your sister! To Heidi, as an adult, I was always looking for that "perfect" friend; someone to drink coffee with, someone to laugh about the silliest things with, share the latest with. My search ended when I met you. You really are my best friend! Thank you, ladies:). I'm a better person cuz I know all of you.

5. I am thankful for my jobs. I have 3 of them and enjoy the all tremendously. My home health job is fun and I really look forward to every day I go there. I have made some really great friends at the foot clinic and art center. These jobs keep me busy and grateful to be able to contribute financially to our family.

6. I am thankful for our vehicles. They run well and in about 18 months, will be paid off! I'm also thankful I have my dream car, '65 Mustang!

7. I am thankful for our warm, spacious home. Well, I could use an extra room or 2, but all and all, I love my house. It's fun to keep up and improve.

8. I am thankful for my husband, Tony. We met when I was 17. I have known and been with him for almost half of my life already! And you know what, I love him more and more the longer I'm with him. He is probably the funniest person I know, he tries very hard to be good to me, he is an excellent daddy, he's so handy around the house. He's the perfect husband. I'm blessed he chose me as his wife.

9. I am so thankful for Aria and Taryn. I was sick the other day and Aria was a little nurse to me. She was so sympathetic and helpful. She makes parenting so easy! She is just a real good kid. She's funny, sweet, and talented. I'm real blessed to be her mom. Taryn is a blessing, too. I'm learning so much as her mom, and it's so fun! I'm totally biased, but I have the best kids.

10. I'm thankful for Tony's jobs. He really is the breadwinner and he brings it! On top of being a great dad, husband, and all around fix-it guy, he's a wonderful provider for my family.

11. I'm thankful for my dogs. I really love my dogs! Sadie is over 10 years old, and it makes me sad to think that she has less time than more left with us, tho she certainly doesn't act like it. Riley is my girl. She's such a loyal dog and I love her devotion to me. Cooper, while he tries my patience, he's really a sweet dog. Aria pulls, tugs, and jumps all over him and he is very tolerant of her. That and they are all pretty good looking dogs, too. Again, I'm totally biased!

12. I'm really thankful for my parents. My dad is and always has been my hero. There's something to be said about someone when people still ask about him even tho he's been gone from this area for 13 years. My mom has a very tender spirit and sees the good in anyone or anything.

13. I'm thankful my brother came home safely from Iraq this past September. I am extremely proud of the military members of my family. It give me great pride to hang my flag in their honor every holiday.

14. I'm thankful to live in Montana. And be an American. We live in the best country in the world and the best state in the union.

15. I am thankful for my keurig coffee maker. I love that machine. It makes me delicious coffee every day. Whether it's love or addiction, I don't care! I love it!

16. I am thankful for Walmart. It has low prices and one stop shopping. I don't care who you are, there's something to be said after a long day at work and a long grocery list, to do it all in one building and then get home definitely has it's perks!

17. I am thankful for the NFL. Really. I love this game! I love the action, the suspense, all of it. I may not understand some things, but I get most of it and it's just a lot of fun for me.

18. I'm thankful our freezer is full of meat again for the year. We filled our deer tags and it's really our meat supply for the year for us.

19. I'm thankful I live in Joplin. I didn't always feels that way. We first moved here, I was one un-happy camper. But, with time and with kids, and a few people that came into my life, I am honestly content living where I do. It's safe and quiet.

20. I am thankful for smokers. Really. Next time you see a smoker thank them! They keep our taxes lower, they help pay for others health care. That is really nice of them. Granted, I'm married to one, but if there were no smokers, you and I would be paying a lot more in taxes. You better reconize and respect!

21. I'm thankful for my church and for their support this past summer. I am not able to be there often because of work and all, but I feel loved and cared for there. My desire is to help give back more, esp. once Taryn is a bit older.

22. I'm thankful that I can worship God as I wish in this country. While at times, I may feel oppressed by narrow-minded atheists and agnostics, we all are able to worship as we wish.

23. I am thankful I am a Christian. God revealed himself to me and I have been chosen by Him! Thank you Lord for a deep faith in you!

24. I am thankful for ears to hear wonderful music, eyes to see my beautiful daughters, legs to carry me thru the day, arms to hugs my husband, and voice to laugh at stupid, but humorous jokes.

25. I'm thankful for my LPN degree. I worked really hard for it and am really proud of it, too. No matter what may happen in life, I'll always have that to support myself and family.

26. I'm thankful for my TV and satellite. Is TV watching a hobby? For me, yes it is, as well as a friend and therapist. Is this healthy? Don't care.

27. I am thankful for the traveling opportunities I've had up to this point (if you know my husband, you'd understand why I'm grateful!). I've been to California, Florida, Georgia, New Mexico, Minnesota, Washington, and Hawaii.

28. I'm thankful for flat rate phone bills. When our phone company quit charging for every long distant call made, it was like winning the lottery. I can talk to my sister for hours and before these flat rates were put in place, well... our phone bills weren't very pretty. Now I talk and talk and talk, guilt free! Nice.

29. I was so thankful for the excellent care Tony and I both received while we were hospitalized. We had/have great doctors and our care was outstanding.

30. I am thankful to shoot a gun, buy a camper, ride a boat, play an organized sport, sing like a rock star in my car, pray to my Lord and Savior, sit on my deck, enjoy all 4 seasons of the year, love my family and friends, walk my dogs in a great town, state, country and have had 32 great years.

What are you thankful for? Happy Thanksgiving all!

Occupy Wall Street

My sister sent this to me. I've been meaning to post something on this. Dave took the words right out of my mouth (he does a much better job of it too!).

Dave's Take on Occupy Wall Street
By Dave Ramsey
"I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!" Yeah, that's great. But what do you want? What are your goals? What are your demands? What result are you looking for?
The beauty of being vague is that anyone who has any emotion can get caught up in the excitement and join your crusade. They'll just get mad at something and assume that you're both mad about the same thing. Put a few hundred of these people together, and boom. You've got a crowd, a headline and a lot of attention … but no message.
A lot of people on Twitter are saying I totally agree with the Occupy Wall Street (OWS) demands and goals. The only problem is that I have no idea what their demands and goals are. And neither does anyone else. If all you ever do is stomp around, yell and hold up signs protesting a million different things, sure you'll get some attention, but over time, you'll just look foolish. You end up coming across like a three-year-old having a temper tantrum.
This is what's happening to the OWS movement. They're being discredited because no one has stepped forward and really stated what it is they're after. The whole group is coming across like a bunch of jacked-up, jobless, wannabe hippies. That's not going to change anything in this country. You've got to state your goals clearly if you want to accomplish something.
So in the absence of any clear goals, let me comment and offer some helpful advice in some areas that seem to be getting a lot of disorganized OWS attention.
"No Government Bailouts!"
Banks and big companies should not receive taxpayer money for a bailout while their CEOs are making hundreds of millions of dollars. If that's your gripe, then you're protesting in the wrong location. Pack up and head to Washington, D.C., to deliver your message to the current administration. Don't get me wrong—I totally support a company's freedom to pay their leaders well. I just don't believe that I, as a taxpayer, should subsidize those huge salaries in the form of taxpayer bailouts. I pay my own team members; I don't need to pay everyone else's too.
By the way, you may be shocked to learn that the Tea Party agrees with you on this one—and so do I.
"Down With Corporate Greed!"
Gordon Gekko was wrong. Greed is not good. Greed is bad—very bad. It's a spiritual disease, and it is a disease that sadly affects a lot of companies across the country. If you believe a specific company is acting purely out of greed, then don't just get mad—do something. Point out where and how they're greedy and let the world know. Stop doing business with them. If enough people listen to you, the company will get the message because you'll hit them where it hurts: the bottom line. If they don't get their act together, then they'll go out of business and another business will take their place.
But if you're saying that all businesses are greedy and that capitalism itself is evil and ineffective, then I'm sorry—you're just being stupid. You're being misled and misinformed by some of the louder voices around you. Are you wearing clothes? Have you eaten any food lately? Do you have an iPhone in your pocket to check in with Twitter and Facebook while you're out marching around? Good. All of those products and services are brought to you by quality companies dedicated to serving you well in a capitalistic system that works just fine.
"Wall Street Is Evil!"
If you have this painted on a sign, well, now you just look ignorant. Wall Street is a street that people drive on. The New York Stock Exchange is a building where people exchange stocks in New York. This is the flea market of the financial world. Don't turn Wall Street into some terrible monster attacking American citizens. It's just a road with some buildings on it.
But here's what happens. Sometimes when people don't understand something, they start to fear it. And as the fear grows, it turns into anger. But just because you don't understand something, you shouldn't see it as bad or frightening or a conspiracy. You should just think of it as an opportunity to learn something new—something that could actually be a blessing to you.
For example, imagine a group of natives out in the jungle in the farthest part of the world. I mean, picture a group of people who have never seen anyone outside of their tribe and have certainly never seen any kind of machine. What would they think if they saw a Red Cross helicopter land near them? And what would they think of the strange-looking men and women who jump out of the chopper and start walking toward them? They'd be freaked out! They wouldn't know or care if the Red Cross was there to help them with food or medicine. They'd think it was the end of the world or something because their minds would be totally blown!
I hate to say it, but a lot of OWS protestors are just about as uninformed as those jungle natives when it comes to how the American financial system works. A road and an office building. That's Wall Street.
"Wealth Redistribution Is the Answer!"
I've heard a lot about wealth redistribution over the past few years, and I'm sure you've heard it too. Call it whatever you want, but this is how it usually sounds to most Americans: "We are the 99% of Americans who don't have as much as the 1%, so we're mad and think the government should take their wealth and property away so that we can have a piece of it. Wealth inequality is a moral breakdown! We should all spread the money around so everyone gets a fair share!"
I have my toughest critique for those who believe this: You are a thief. When someone takes my money and gives me no say in the matter, that's called theft—whether they're using a gun or the government. At the core of this demand is envy. And that's not the same as jealousy. Jealousy just says, "I want what you have." Envy is a different beast. Envy says, "I don't think I can ever have what you have, so you shouldn't have it either." Decades of horrible economic teaching and the politics of envy have kept this monster alive and growing and moving forward.
This way of thinking makes you assume that all rich people are evil and have scammed their way into wealth. That may be true in the tale of Robin Hood, but I choose to live in the real world. Sure, there are some scoundrels, but the vast majority of successful men and women got that way by working hard and serving people—lots of people. Steve Jobs and Bill Gates changed the world in ways we're just now starting to realize. Their positive impact on the world has helped all of us live better lives, and they made fortunes for themselves by doing so. Why is it that you're holy if you help one person but evil if you help a million? That's just stupid.
A good friend of mine is a country music legend. He's made a bazillion dollars over his career, and he just bought a $400,000 car. He's worked like a crazy person his whole life, spending decades in tour buses, writing songs in the middle of the night, and entertaining enormous crowds of cheering fans. He paid a price to get there, and I'm happy for his success. Would it be right for me to walk into his house and demand my "fair share" of his wealth? Heck no! I'm a terrible singer! I didn't do one thing to contribute to his success, so why would I be entitled to a share of his wealth? He's given me years of entertainment through his music. That's my fair share of his hard work.
My problems aren't his fault. And my problems aren't McDonald's fault or Home Depot's fault or Walmart's fault, either. My problems are my fault! And the more people these companies serve, the more money they make—and that's none of my business! If you don't like McDonald's, then here's an idea: Don't eat there. But don't walk into the restaurant and demand a portion of their proceeds for the day.
When you scream, "I'm in the 99%!" you just look like a whiner. Those of us willing to pay the price to win look at you and shrug. Heck, when it comes to the music business, I'm in the 99% myself! But that doesn't mean I have to tear Toby Keith, Brad Paisley or even Kanye down. Oh, and a special note just for Kanye: Capitalism has been pretty good to you. I celebrate your success, but you look a little hypocritical protesting capitalism while wearing a $50,000 watch.
Celebrate the Land of Opportunity
This is the greatest country on the planet, but even here, you're not guaranteed wealth, talent, fame, a full head of hair or six-pack abs. Those things are not in the Constitution. You are, however, guaranteed the freedom to make your life what you want it to be. And when you do that, when you build your life around your dreams and passions and hard work, you're guaranteed the right to keep it. No one has the right to take it away from you.
So to summarize, I'm not very impressed at the moment. I'm not impressed by your temper fit. I'm not impressed at your lack of goals and focus. I'm not impressed by the fact that the only thing I see about your movement is ignorance, immaturity and envy. Grow up—and get a job.
Yes, there are jobs out there. There are jobs out there that haven't even been invented yet. Go create the next Facebook or Weed Eater. Go pick up so much dog poop that you can start your own fertilizer company. And stop complaining that companies are TOO RICH while also complaining that they aren't RICH ENOUGH to hire you! I've seen a lot of you guys. I wouldn't hire you, either. But if you take all of that energy and excitement and pour it into something new and creative, you'll get the chance to serve a whole lot of people really well, and over a decade or two, you'll get to become the very thing you're now protesting: rich people who actually earned their money.

A term used a bit loosely...

Definition of BIGOT
: a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance (taken from Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary)

So, am I a bigot? I was called one today, and it got me thinking about the word, it's meaning and is it used out of context. I'll present my case and let you decide.

There was an article in one of our local newspapers about a man who lived across the street from a business. Every day, according to the article, the man and his wife are subjected to an image that is offensive to them on an employee of that business vehicle: the silhouette of a naked woman in the rear window (like the mud flaps, just much bigger in size). The employee, a female, was approached by this man to move her vehicle. She didn't. So he went and asked the employer to tell this woman to move her vehicle. She did... for one day, but was back at it again the next day. So, this man called the cops, stating that this was akin to soft-porn and he wanted it removed. That's a brief summary of the article. I, maybe stupidly, read the comments and was stunned! Probably about 90% of the comments thought the man was in the wrong and needed to leave this woman alone and "turn his head away" if it offended him so bad. It's her right and freedom of speech, after all, to put whatever she wants on her vehicle. "get a life!" was a popular statement. I must admit, my blood was boiling a bit, so I posted a comment on there myself. My point was how if anything that is viewed as offensive, based on what I'd read, we could also apply that theory to religious symbols, too. Don't like it, turn your head, right? Well that's when I was called a bigot. (I wonder if we turned the story around and the woman had a cross in her rear window and the guy took offense, what that story would play out as). So, I go to church and the sermon was based from Jonah 4. Basically, how after Jonah went to Nineveh, he still wanted to see the Ninevites smite as he felt they didn't deserve God's compassion and forgiveness. The pastor went as far as to call Jonah a spiritual bigot. (how weird that this word would cross my path twice in one morning?!) I could identify a bit with Jonah and his attitudes. But my question was who is bigoted: Me or the people on the other side of the naked silhouette chick issue? They are just as stubborn and sure of their beliefs as I am. Or is bigot too strong a word for all parties involved. I tell myself these hoity-toity know-it-alls are seriously confused and lack simple understanding of respecting our fellow man. I will admit there are certain behaviors I won't do around certain people as it's a respect issue. I'm not so crass as to force my will on everyone! If this guy truly did ask this woman to move her vehicle and she didn't just to get a rise out of him, that's just plain bullying. Now, if I had a neighbor who did something similar, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't call the police on them. But I still think it's a respect issue. Anyway, I know as a Christian, we are to love people and show them the love of God, no matter what. But, we are also to be discerning of this world and follow God's will/laws. In doing that, am I a bigot? If I expect other people to understand that about me, am I a bigot? Why is it that when it comes to religion, the bigot is usually the person who holds the higher standard of morality. I was also compared to the Taliban, who last I checked murdered people for not agreeing with them. I really don't want to kill anybody ever, regardless of whether or not one agrees with me! But seriously, I know it's easy to condemn and hard to forgive, but if I condemn, I'm a bigot, if I forgive, maybe I'm becoming relaxed in my moral values. I struggled with the hypocrisy of it all; how a religious symbol can enrage the same group of people and a naked image of a woman won't. Are they the bigots? Is it my place to say if anyone of us is bigoted or not? In our society, it's seems more acceptable to just go along with whatever feels good. "If it doesn't bother me, who cares?" I am finding that I'm not apart of that group. I want to take a stand, a strong stand, against what I feel is wrong. If I do that, am I bigoted? If I believe homosexuality is wrong, am I a bigot. Or is that the word to throw at me to shut me up? If I believe a man standing up for what he thinks is wrong is okay, are we both bigots? Or is that word being thrown at us to make us feel ashamed of our opinions. When did it become to "let every person believe whatever they wanted" except when they're a Christian? I know that the Bible talks about how the world views the Cross as offensive, but as a nation who 80-some% claim belief in God, why is this even an issue? Honestly, if you couldn't tell, being called a bigot got under my skin. I kind of had thought, up until today, that I was pretty tolerant of other people's views, but maybe I'm not. Perhaps I'm a bigot. Maybe I should wear that label with pride; I've always liked the idea of being original, not like everyone else. Maybe this is it! What do you think?

Who me? Opinionated?!

I love this band and am so excited to get their new album (it releases October 24!). I so rarely purchase CDs, esp. in the era of downloads, but some bands (note I said BANDS) deserve it and Coldplay is one of them. I'm contemplating a special trip to Havre just to buy it!

Just because baby Lisa is getting more press in her disappearance has nothing to do with race! That grandma in Glendale, AZ has every right to be upset on her granddaughter's disappearance, too. But to suggest it's race based is plain stupid. Tho she is getting some national media attention now. Baby Lisa's case is puzzling and the parents behavior is bewildering; that's why they are getting more press. Jahessye's mom did act negligently and I truly hope that adorable little girl is found safe and sound, but there is nothing race based on coverage. Unfortunately, it's luck of the draw. I guess this is the age of Obama... this is the hope and change people wanted, right?

Speaking of that, have you heard about the insane mom in Seattle? The Air Force Veteran who strongly opposed her daughter saying the Pledge of Allegiance every morning at school? Check this quote out: "It pains me to think that at a school that emphasizes thinking globally we would institute something that makes our children think that this country alone is where their allegiance lies," said Haley Sides. "This has no educational value for young children. Absolutely none." The article later states that According to the paper, the pledge will be read over the PA system every Monday and recited in individual classrooms the other days of the week. Students who don't want to participate will be allowed to sit or stand respectfully. What is the issue. Oh! Haley Sides, 26, moved to Seattle after four years in the Air Force so her 6-year-old daughter could attend John Stanford International School, which promotes the same multiculturalism that Sides says she has tried to instill in her half-Jamaican daughter, according to the paper.
But Sides became angry when the school’s new principal announced that students will be asked to recite the Pledge of Allegiance each day before the start of classes. The policy, which has long been mandated by district policy but not traditionally observed at John Stanford , will start Monday. (Italics taken from foxnews.com) Never mind this school is located in America and John Stanford International School is an award-winning Seattle public elementary school. That last phrase is taken directly from the JSIS website. This woman, while clearly narrow-minded, has no case here. A silly thing to cry over, in my humble (and correct!) opinion. I am really tired of the few, yet very loud, intolerant individuals who think others are treading on their rights. What about those who WANT to say the pledge? What about their rights? What about those who want the Jesus statue to stay up at Big Mountain. What about their rights? So you don't believe in Jesus? It doesn't align with your way of thinking? So you think no one should have the privilege to enjoy their beliefs if you can't enjoy yours? I'm over people like you. Sit quietly and meditate on yourself (cuz people with your "belief" system are quite self-centered) and let those of us, who live in the land of the free and the ability to worship how we please, alone!

How 'bout them '9ers?! 5-1, people. Not bad. And I'm pleasantly surprised. The handshake between Harbaugh and Lions Coach Schwartz was a bit unprofessional, but was totally overblown. I watched it happen and Harbaugh was greeting everyone in his radius with the same exuberance. Granted, he should've toned it down for Schwartz, but to say that it was intentionally disrespectful is a bit much. I am biased, maybe, but I saw no reason for all the hoopla. Both coaches have taken teams with losing seasons and turned it around in less than a year. There's a lot of competitiveness and tension on either side. I actually liked the abrasiveness of it; this is football people! Not pansy-ball. Let's get excited and play with passion. That is what I saw after that game. It was somewhat refreshing.

I'm so excited for this coming Wednesday! Womens basketball for adult ed. I'm only hoping the women in the area don't go lame-sauce on me and skip out. If people don't show, they won't continue it. Even if you're out of shape (I know I am, but I'm working on it), just come. It's for fun... don't let me down, ladies!! Please!

Taryn is in the midst of her first cold. It's not too bad, she's mostly congested, but when babies are obligate nose-breathers, simple tasks like eating are very difficult! Poor thing! I've stocked up on Vicks Rub and Vapor to add to her humidifier in her room, but still. A couple parents, who clearly have no ability to read or common sense, over dosed their babies, so now apparently all parents will do this, so no medication to alleviate your child's symptoms. It's just like anything else in our sue-happy society: one person ruins it for everyone. My poor Ter-bear, sorry a few numbnuts ruined it for you!

To end on a fun note, I have some fun news: I'm going to dye my hair! We were watching TV the other day and during one of the commercials, Tony stops and says, "You see that chick in the commercial?" "Yeah, what about it?" "Well, I like her hair. You should try something like that." Seriously, he said that! I had thought all this time he liked my blonde hair. Well, he does, he just thinks I'd like to try something new. He's right. I always, tho never really successfully, like to change my look. I'd never considered coloring it. Till just last week. I'm defiantly gonna go with something bold. If I've been given the green light, I'm not going subtle! If I get around to it later, maybe I'll post ideas on here for fun and possible feedback. It'll be fun and I can't wait to see people's reaction! "*tsk* Oh! What did you do to your pretty hair?!" Maybe I'll be a great brunette or redhead...

A brief update

This picture is a rarity at night! Taryn is a pretty mellow baby, she just has her days and nights mixed up a bit. At least she doesn't keep us up every night. It's more like every other night. But, this momma needs her sleep... every night. Aria was the complete opposite; slept all night, every night. I know babies can do this, but I'm not used to it. However, no matter how tired I am, there's something that is very tranquil about feeding a baby at 2 in the morning with the TV quietly on in the background. I almost enjoy those moments with my Ter-bear.



This baby gift from a friend made me smile, BIG TIME! I love these and want a pair for myself! Now, I know I have been down right pathetic about posting my NFL picks and such this year. I have no good excuse for it (I could say I'm busy, but I do spend a fair amount each day on the computer. I just keep saying I'll do it later... and I don't). I have been watching it, and my '9ers are doing pretty well, I'd say. The Cowgirls are choking, to my delight. I am so disappointed that Peyton Manning is out, possibly for good. I am so glad I was able to see him play in person last February, tho. Anyway, no guarantees on when or even if I'll get to my picks any time soon, but, in case you've forgotten, as long as the 49ers are winning and the Cowgirls are losing, I'm a pretty happy girl! (on a recent newsworthy note: join me in buying Hank Williams Jr. music as I think ESPN has lost their minds. Talk about blowing a statement out of proportion! He did NOT compare Obama to Hilter, he likened it... big difference. If you don't understand that, your English teacher failed you miserably. I'm afraid a lot of today's media English and Journalism teachers failed them, tho.)


Try to guess if this is Aria or Taryn! It's Taryn, but the resemblance of these 2 is uncanny! I look forward to watching Taryn grow and see the changes and similarities between her and Aria.

I'm back to work and my mom is visiting for a few weeks to help with that transition. Aria likes kindergarten for the most part. Tony is very busy still catching up with work put on hold during his kidney stone saga. He is feeling pretty good, but gets tired pretty easily still. And can you believe it's October?! I put out our Halloween decorations this past weekend and it just didn't feel right. Granted, we were jipped out of a nice summer, but considering all that has happened, it really flew by! *probably a good thing, too!*

NFL FANS REJOICE!

After a rather sad week around here, it's time to add some sunshine to life! And for me, that would be today. NFL regular season kicks off today! Tonight's game is the Saints vs. the Packers. This should be a great season opener. I have to say, however, due to the lockout and limited training camps, I don't think any of the teams will be on their game right away. There's something to be said about continuity year round and if that's lost, well, I think there will be some teams that have been highlighted below by FoxSports.com's Adam Schein that could be good, had they had a full training camp time together. What I think is cool about this is the last time a lot of these guys played before preseason was for the Pro Bowl, which I personally saw! Very cool. I'm disappointed that Peyton Manning is out for week 1. I hope he recovers well enough for week 2. I have to agree that the Colts will suffer majorly without him leading the way. My '9ers, yet again, have a new coach to content with. I have yet to form an opinion on his arrival. They, like every other team, has so little time to work together... I may have to hold my thoughts till much later in the season or even into next year! We'll see. But, just like every other year, as long as the Cowgirl stink, I will be a happy girl. So, football fans (and reluctant bench warmers), whip up some chip dip, warm up some pizza and crack open a cool beverage: NFL starts today!!!

AFC East
1. Patriots 13-3

2. Jets 12-4 (wild card)

3. Dolphins 7-9

4. Bills 4-12

Schein's 9 on AFC East
1. The Patriots defense is going to be much better than it was last season. The additions of Albert Haynesworth, Shaun Ellis and Andre Carter represent major upgrades. The pass rush and pass defense will be much better. Never count out a Bill Belichick defense.

2. With Logan Mankins on the roster for a full year and with the additions of Brian Waters and Nate Solder, New England's line will be improved as well. Tom Brady will have another banner season. Stevan Ridley beefs up the run game.

3. Rex Ryan's defense will become the top-ranked defense in the NFL. The Jets are better and younger up front, Calvin Pace is healthy and Darrelle Revis isn’t coming off a prolonged holdout.

4. It is Year 3 for Mark Sanchez. He has proven to be a winner, victorious in four road playoff games in two years. But for the Jets to win the division or to finally get to the Super Bowl, Sanchez needs to even out his play in the regular season and improve his completion percentage.

5. The Jets rightly received the headlines for bringing back the supremely clutch Santonio Holmes and inking Plaxico Burress, who represents an upgrade over Braylon Edwards. But there will be a learning curve. The Jets must stay true to the "ground and pound" philosophy and run with Shonn Greene, regardless of who lines up at receiver.

6. Mike Nolan's defense will keep the Dolphins competitive and have Miami winning some "upset specials" this season.

7. Tony Sparano's offense will keep Miami from making the playoffs. I wish Chad Henne had a full offseason to work with new coordinator Brian Daboll.

8. I don't understand why Buffalo would trade Lee Evans. How does that help Ryan Fitzpatrick and the 2011 Bills? What a terrible transaction for Buffalo.

9. The front seven on the Bills' defense should be much better with Marcell Dareus and Nick Barnett. It can't be worse after nine running backs gashed Buffalo for more than 100 yards in a game last year. But that Buffalo offensive line remains a major issue.

AFC North
1. Ravens 12-4

2. Steelers 11-5 (wild card)

3. Browns 8-8

4. Bengals 2-14

Schein's 9 on AFC North
1. I love the Ravens trusting their recent draft picks, such as Ed Dickson, Terrence Cody, Jimmy Smith and Torrey Smith. They are upgrades over the veterans they replaced. Ozzie Newsome, Eric DeCosta and the Ravens brass do an excellent job with player development.

2. Lee Evans will really help Baltimore quarterback Joe Flacco. I think Flacco will have a better season than last year. But offensive coordinator Cam Cameron needs to remember that Ray Rice is the straw that stirs the drink on offense and the Ravens are a run-first team.

3. Ed Reed and Ray Lewis are getting older, but they are still great players. Haloti Ngata and Terrell Suggs have become the Ravens' studs on defense.

4. Mike Tomlin doesn't apologize for throwing the ball more than they have historically in Pittsburgh — and he shouldn't. With a star quarterback and a deep and diverse group of receivers, it is logical.

5. A healthy Troy Polamalu is gigantic to Pittsburgh’s Super Bowl hopes. Tomlin told us on SiriusXM NFL Radio, “When Troy walks on the field with a helmet on, he’s the best player on the field.” No argument there, but I still think there are question marks in the defensive backfield.

6. Believe in the Browns! Check the schedule in the first seven weeks. I think Cleveland goes 5-2. Colt McCoy is a winner. New head coach Pat Shurmur is the right guy and comes in at the right time to coach McCoy up and re-energize the building after Eric Mangini sucked the life out of the team.

7. Don’t minimize the appointment of Dick Jauron as the Cleveland defensive coordinator and the switch to the 4-3. Rookie Phillip Taylor is a beast inside.

8. Truth is, I really buy into the upside of Andy Dalton, A.J. Green and new Bengals offensive coordinator Jay Gruden. But with no offseason, the odds are really stacked against them for this year.

9. I feel terrible for Cincy defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer. Grotesque mismanagement has cost him players. It’s going to be a long year in Cincinnati, again. The Bengals are the worst team in football.

AFC South
1. Texans 10-6

2. Titans 8-8

3. Colts 7-9

4. Jaguars 3-13

Schein's 9 on AFC South
1. I wrote weeks ago that it would be foolish to anticipate that Peyton Manning would play in all 16 games; and when he does play, it would be foolish to believe that he will play at his legendary level. Manning is officially out for Week 1, and his return is up in the air.

2. The Colts aren't good enough in any other phase to get back to the playoffs. Manning eradicated so many other deficiencies on the Colts roster with his brilliant play. Indy will fall from grace — and fall hard.

3. Finally! The Texans will make the playoffs. This team is loaded with talent on offense.

4. Wade Phillips will prove to be a difference-maker at defensive coordinator as Houston transitions to a 3-4 defense. Team leader DeMeco Ryans is healthy, and that's a big deal on the field and in the locker room. The Johnathan Joseph pickup at corner is an instant upgrade.

5. I'm picking Houston, but, frankly, Gary Kubiak scares me. He is a poor in-game coach, and Houston collapsed down the stretch last year. It is a boom-or-bust year for Kubiak.

6. Titans at 8-8? The quarterback position is vastly improved with Matt Hasselbeck and Jake Locker. Signing Barrett Ruud was the most underrated move of the offseason. Chris Johnson is signed and will look like Chris Johnson right away.

7. I like the way new Titans head coach Mike Munchak has carried himself. And I love the staff he put together with Jerry Gray and Chris Palmer.

8. It's a hot-seat year for Jack Del Rio in Jacksonville, yet Gene Smith drafted a quarterback in Round 1. I support the Blaine Gabbert pick, but it won't help Del Rio keep his gig. I believe there will be a new coach in Jacksonville when the Jags miss the playoffs and finish last.

9. This offseason, we talked about the possibility of the Jags cutting David Garrard. His time was up the minute they drafted Blaine Gabbert and he was due 8 million dollars. But it was both unprofessional and simply the wrong move for the Jags to chop their best quarterback the first week of the regular season. While Garrard was too up and down to be considered a great player, cutting him now hurts the Jags' ability to get off to a good start. And it kills Garrard’s chance of getting another gig. So the Jags cut Garrard, start Luke McCown and save 9 million dollars. That’s Jaguars football.

AFC West
1. Chargers 13-3

2. Chiefs 9-7

3. Raiders 6-10

4. Broncos 5-11

Schein's 9 on AFC West
1. As I predicted on FOXSports.com last week, Philip Rivers will win MVP. Vincent Jackson will be one of the five best receivers in the league. Norv Turner is an excellent play-caller on offense.

2. San Diego's defense will make more game-changing plays this year under Greg Manusky. Norv Turner made the correct appointment with Rich Bisaccia as the special teams coordinator after San Diego's putrid play on special teams last year. I think San Diego starts hot and eliminates the negativity from last year.

3. Bob Sanders hasn't been healthy since winning 2007 defensive player of the year. But he's enjoyed a great training camp with the Chargers and Turner is optimistic. If Sanders can stay healthy, he and Eric Weddle will form an elite combination at safety.

4. San Diego is the most talented team in the division. I think the Chiefs are better on paper, but San Diego won’t underachieve.

5. Kansas City is loaded with offensive playmakers. I trust Todd Haley calling the plays with Charlie Weis off to Florida. But Haley must control his demeanor working with Matt Cassel.

6. I liked Kansas City's Kelly Gregg signing. This defense is well-coached and better than you think.

7. I get calls on the radio saying I'm a "Raider hater." That's not true. How can you expect improvement from a team that is so mismanaged and clearly worse from a year ago with all of the signature players who defected? I’ve been campaigning for Hue Jackson to get a head-coaching gig for a long time. But it is going to be tough to succeed in Oakland.

8. John Fox was the ideal man, with the perfect energy and résumé, to lead Denver after Josh McDaniels ran this proud franchise into the ground.

9. The defense will be better with Von Miller, a healthy Elvis Dumervil and new coordinator Dennis Allen. But it is going to take time to heal all the wounds McDaniels created.

NFC East
Eagles 11-5

Giants 8-8

Cowboys 7-9

Redskins 4-12

Schein’s 9 on the NFC East
1. Forget the label of The Dream Team. Andy Reid and company improved an overmatched defense with brilliant signings and trades. It was all logical and calculated. But you have to wonder about the experience at linebacker, at safety and of first-time defensive coordinator Juan Castillo.

2. The offense should be explosive. But with the play of the Philly offensive line, I can’t be convinced that Michael Vick plays in all 16 games. When Vick is out there, this offense is going to be something special. Vick, LeSean McCoy, Ronnie Brown, DeSean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin, the underrated Jason Avant, Brent Celek and Steve Smith will keep defensive coordinators up at night. It’s going to be a show!

3. Eagles general manager Howie Roseman loves Alex Henery’s résumé, kicking in cold weather for a big-time school in Nebraska. The Jets used that same logic when they spent a high draft pick on Mike Nugent. I believe in Henery, but until he makes pressure kicks, he is an unknown.

4. The Giants had a miserable month of August, suffering numerous and key defections and injuries. And it has continued in September. Now, starting middle linebacker Jonathan Goff is done for the year. Goff and cornerback Terrell Thomas were really good players last year, being counted upon to take a step forward. If it wasn’t for bad luck, the Giants would have none at all.

5. Giants offensive coordinator Kevin Gilbride should run the ball first and foremost. Eli Manning is too interception-prone.

6. Rex Grossman? Are you serious, Mike Shanahan?

7. Tim Hightower is an upgrade for Washington at running back. But before we put him in the Hall of Fame, let’s remember that he was available to all teams via trade.

8. I still have major questions for the Cowboys along the offensive line and in the defensive backfield. Dallas having both starting corners nicked up to start the season is not the way new defensive coordinator Rob Ryan wanted to go into the 2011 campaign.

9. I think Tony Romo has a big-time bounce-back year for Dallas.

NFC North
Packers 12-4

Lions 9-7

Bears 7-9

Vikings 6-10

Schein’s 9 on the NFC North
1. On paper, the Super Bowl champion Packers are better than they were one year ago. The lockout, which brought with it the lack of opportunity to celebrate the championship, will aid the Packers in keeping focus. Mike McCarthy is an excellent coach who keeps Green Bay thinking about the next game.

2. Ryan Grant is back, but a bit rusty. I expect McCarthy to get all three running backs involved early in the season. Grant won’t carry the ball exclusively. While McCarthy strives for balance, the offense, the team, goes through Aaron Rodgers.

3. I think the Packers will have the best defense in the NFC. I think B.J. Raji and Tramon Williams, both coming off great seasons, become true stars.

4. Jim Schwartz has totally changed the culture in Detroit. I loved how he challenged his team to win three out of four in December last year and they won them all. The Lions will be a factor in the playoff chase. I have them losing in Tampa in Week 1 and losing the tiebreaker with the Bucs.

5. I would’ve picked the Lions to make the playoffs if it wasn’t for the Mikel Leshoure injury. I love the offense. I love the defensive line. But they needed that “bell-cow” back.

6. Bears fans and safety Chris Harris love when I pick against them! But I still have some major offensive line questions when I look at the Bears.

7. Week 1 is upon us, and Chicago's Lance Briggs and Matt Forte are still unhappy. That’s a problem.

8. I truly believe that Leslie Frazier and Bill Musgrave will prove to be upgrades at head coach and offensive coordinator, respectively, in Minnesota.

9. The Vikes are perhaps the most confusing team to figure. They have major questions in the trenches, the defensive backfield and at receiver. I still believe in Donovan McNabb, but he’s a big question, too.

NFC South

Saints 12-4

Falcons 11-5 (wild card)

Bucs 9-7 (wild card)

Panthers 3-13

Schein’s 9 on the NFC South
1. The Saints are back! Mark Ingram gives New Orleans and Drew Brees some needed balance. This team is loaded and a true Super Bowl contender.

2. I’m not worried about the Saints defense looking shaky in a preseason game against Houston. They are too good and well coached under Gregg Williams.

3. Atlanta is also a legit Super Bowl contender. But I’m not convinced they did enough on defense to beat out New Orleans.

4. Matt Ryan is a star.

5. Bucs football! Get on board! Raheem Morris has changed the culture. And they made a decision last year to play a bevy of young players. That experience will help them greatly this season.

6. Josh Freeman will be a borderline MVP candidate this year.

7. I’m a bit concerned about the Bucs defense after losing Barrett Ruud. The second-year defensive linemen must step up

8. I’m excited to see Cam Newton play quarterback. I just wish for his development, and for Carolina winning ball games, that they had a legit veteran to start the season.

9. Ron Rivera will be a fine head coach. It just won’t happen this year.

NFC West

Cardinals 9-7

Rams 8-8

49ers 6-10

Seahawks 4-12

Schein’s 9 on the NFC West
1. Tarvaris Jackson is the Seahawks quarterback? Wow. What a downgrade. And Seattle rewards him with two-year contract and $8 million? Who was the guy who watched the Vikings over the years and thought to himself, “I need to get Jackson as my quarterback and Darrell Bevell as my coordinator.” It’s illogical. It’s a step backwards. Jackson isn’t better than Charlie Whitehurst, last year’s mistake at quarterback.

2. I did like Seattle’s pickups of Sidney Rice and Zach Miller. But this Seahawks offensive line looks putrid.

3. Kevin Kolb changes everything for the Cardinals on the field and in the meeting room. Cardinals’ brass is thrilled how he has improved the culture and accountability. It was missing last year without Kurt Warner. Kolb already has a rapport with Larry Fitzgerald and will get better and put up big numbers as the season moves along.

4. The Ryan Williams injury is a big deal for Arizona. Beanie Wells needs to show Ken Whisenhunt he can be counted on as a runner and in pass protection.

5. Arizona’s defense will be vastly improved with new coordinator Ray Horton. Patrick Peterson was the best overall player in the draft. I think this defensive line has a chance to be special.

6. The Rams boast a strong front seven on defense, and their linebacker core is very underrated. St. Louis was a tough team to leave out of the playoffs. I really like what Steve Spagnuolo has done in St. Louis.

7. Josh McDaniels was overmatched as a head coach but is a great offensive coordinator. I just wish he had an offseason to work with Rams quarterback Sam Bradford.

8. Patience, Niners fans. Jim Harbaugh is the right man for the job. It just won’t happen this year.

9. I’m not convinced the Niners' 2012 starting quarterback is on the current roster.

Championship Sunday
Patriots over the Jets

Packers over the Saints

Super Bowl
Packers repeat, beating New England 27-24

Thoughts and prayers for Dawson's family

This is too close to home. We see his family almost everyday: his uncle is our neighbor, his grandparents run the gas station we use very frequently, his other grandpa is a friend of Tony's, they live a couple blocks down from us, he was in basketball and T-ball with Aria this summer, just a few weeks ago, he was over at our house inviting Aria to come play with him and his older sisters, he rode his bike by our house often... we saw him alot. Just this last Friday as I dropped Aria off for the bus, he was there and later that day would read to Aria for a program where older kids come and read to the kindergartners. That was the last time we'd see him. Dawson died Saturday evening on a motorcycle ride with his dad. His dad is in the hospital; I have no idea how severe his injuries are. It's like a friend I was visiting with in church yesterday said, you just never think when you say goodbye to someone it might be the last time you see them. (Her family and Dawson's family were at a volleyball game all day Saturday in Sunburst and she remembers saying "see you later" to Dawson before they left.) It's literally a one moment they're here, the next they're gone situations and the reality is hard to grasp. Tony told Aria yesterday. I don't know if a kid her age understands fully what happened. I remember when another tragic death in our community occurred several years ago. When my sister was 8, the same age as Dawson, a classmate and friend, Courtney, died. Courtney's death was and still is hard to understand. I sat with Amanda during the funeral as mom or dad couldn't since my dad helped do the service and my mom sat with the family. They wanted a family member to sit with Courtney's classmates. Amanda couldn't understand why everyone was crying. She knew something was wrong and that Courtney was dead, but I don't think she actually understood that she'd never see Courtney again. None of us would. That is what is so sad about it. As I watched all the kids during basketball and T-ball, I remember thinking when I saw Dawson play that he'd be a good athlete in high school. He worked hard and had a natural ability it seemed to me. I was really sad for Jada, his mom. While it's very hard right now, Christmas will be hard for this family, next T-ball season will be hard for this family, birthdays and other family events/traditions will be hard for this family. As will the what-ifs and hypotheticals. The finality of death, esp. in a young child is an almost cruel reminder that life is fragile. Don't take anyone for granted. You never know if seeing them will be the last. It also reminds me that while death on earth is final, eternal life thru Jesus is for everyone and for those who believe, and it's so easy, we can mourn the passing of loved one, but know that we'll be reunited forever soon enough. My hope and prayer is that my loved ones and your loved ones know that if Jesus is your Saviour, we do not have to fear death. It's hard to understand and hard to cope with the reality of a loved one being gone. It's something no one wants to go thru, ever (even tho death is certain for everyone), but I personally take comfort in knowing that this life isn't it for me and for many others. Our hope, peace and comfort is in a loving God who is always there for us and has prepared an eternal home for those who love Him.

Keep Jada, Cory, Kayona, Abby, Duane, Darlene, Jerry, Butch, Lonna, Jeb, Jalena, and Jenny and their families in your prayers.

What a month it was!

First off, thank you to all of you for your kind wishes and prayers. This last month or so has been a real challenge for us, but we're almost done and it's family and friends like you that helped us get thru it!

Let me start at the beginning. About the end of June, Tony started having kidney stone pain. As I've mentioned before, he has a chronic condition called cystinurea and forms kidney stones that are usually too hard for lithotripsy to work and much more frequently than the average person. He has had then enough in the past that when he gets this pain, he recognizes it right away and starts taking measures to relieve his symptoms. More often than not, he passes them on his own with the help of pain meds. Well, about 3 weeks into trying to pass the stones on his own at home, July 13 to be exact, he couldn't take it any more, so we were off the the ER in Havre. A cat-scan there revealed 2 stones on the right side, one stuck in his ureter that was 6 mm, and a smaller one still in the kidney. The left side was the major issue. There was a stone in his left kidney called a staghorn stone. Staghorn stones are fairly rare, very large and hard to treat. His stone was about 2 in X 3 in. Sounds hard to believe! The ER doc's eyes were enormous when he came in to give us the news. The interesting part about that is the fact the Tony was having pain only in the right side. Not the left side AT ALL! Tho looking back, we wonder if Tony's reoccurring back pain wasn't caused from the left side stone. Well, they made an appointment for us to see a urologist in Great Falls the next day. On July 14, Tony had a nephrostomy tube (basically a catheter placed directly into his kidney, so he had a tube coming out of his back draining into a bag on his leg), placed into the right kidney to relieve the pressure created by the stone blocking his ureter. He was scheduled for surgery July 22. Our hope was for the doc to get everything cleaned out that day, Tony would have the tubes into both kidneys for about a week, and then Kidney Stone 2011 would be over. WWEELLL, not so much!

Tony was in surgery for about 4 1/2 hours. They only worked on the left side, trying to decrease the large stone. They got about 60% taken out, when Tony started bleeding, so they had to quit. They put in another nephrostomy tube into the left side to get access to that kidney and used a newer machine to "laser blast" the stone. He came out of surgery pretty rough. The nurses had a very hard time getting his pain under control. He was in the hospital for 3 days I think. When we got home he was pretty much bed bound. For him to walk from our bed to the bathroom, which is about 15 steps, was agony for him. I was doing daily dressing changes to the tube sights (he now has a tube going into both kidneys) and monitoring his pain meds, on top of keeping him hydrated and comfortable. It was a lot of work. Not being able to do much else to keep him comfortable was frustrating. Tony is not one to lie around and doesn't like to sit in the house for long periods of time. He was starting to feel better a little by the next scheduled surgery on August 1. The doc wanted Tony to rest up and recover and bit. Again, the hope was for this surgery to clean him out and prepare for baby's arrival as we scheduled the c-section for August 18.

On August 1, they cleaned out the right side and attempted to get more of the large stone on the left side broke up. They did get more of the stone, but there was still more to go. He was in the hospital another 2 days. At this point, I am doing weekly appointments with my doc in Havre, and running Tony to Great Falls once a week. He had another surgery scheduled August 8. I wouldn't be able to make it to this one as I had to work. Tony's parents would go down with him. August 8 was a tough day for me; not being there with Tony was frustrating for me. Being a medical person, when the doctor would come out and explain things, I could understand. I am not so good at communicating what he told me to others, but I could understand what was being said. Not being there to hear for myself was hard for me. Tony's parents did a wonderful job of being there for him and explaining to me that while the doctor was optimistic of how things went, he felt that Tony still probably had one more surgery to go. I think that day was the day I lost it mentally and emotionally. All I kept picturing was me alone in the OR having a baby without her dad there with me as he was having yet ANOTHER surgery! Up to this point, I think I had done pretty well at keeping a stiff upper lip and all. I remember a conversation Tony and I had about how God doesn't give us more than we can handle and Tony's remark was "I wish God didn't think so highly of me!" That and wishing kidney stones on Obama was about all Tony really complained about. He was in alot of pain, but he still managed to keep a decent sense of humor thru it all. An appointment with the doc that Thursday and another CT revealed another stone in the right kidney and mostly just sediment in the left kidney. They had taken out the right neph. tube on the 8th. The left one was still in, but I knew it would have to come out soon as the tube site was getting pretty red. Another surgery was scheduled on August 15 to take the tube out and place a stent and remove the stone from the right side. The thought with the stent (a tube going from the kidney to the bladder) was that the sediment was small enough that it would pass thru easily enough and the stent would come out the following week. The 15th came and Tony was in surgery for another 3 or 4 hours. A lot longer than any of us had anticipated! They put the stent in and he also had a catheter placed. Tony dealt with severe bladder spasms till the catheter came out. Once the catheter came out (I removed it the following day), he felt much better. It was the 16th... 2 days till baby came. Obviously, we weren't going to be done with all of this as we'd all hoped, but at least he was feeling better. We went camping the weekend before, thanks to Tony's brothers help, and did okay. While we wanted this to be over before baby came, the farther along we got, the more we (including the doctor) realized this was a more complicated case than initially thought. On the 15th when the doctor came out to visit with me after the surgery was over, he asked permission to use Tony as a case study subject he wanted to present at a kidney stone conference in October. He wanted to get other doctors feedback on how to deal with this particular condition. As mentioned earlier, Tony's stones are very rare (about 1% of the population gets these kind of stone), and staghorn stones on top of it are even more rare. The doctor is doing chemical workups on Tony's stones to see if there are different or better meds Tony should be on. Even tho this process took a lot longer than we'd all hoped, I really feel like this doctor did his best to get Tony "cleaned out" as fast as possible. The doctor has over 20 years in just Great Falls and I believe is very knowledgeable in his practice. Tony was probably his hardest patient he's dealt with in his career, tho. He is pretty nice and took quite a liking-to to Aria!





On August 18, Tony was feeling great. Taryn Kennedy was born right at 8 am, weighed in at 9 lbs 3 oz and was 20 inches. Her features are very similar to Aria's when Aria was a baby. Tho Taryn doesn't have a dimple on her chin like Aria and I and I think she's a bit darker complected than Aria too. She is pretty mellow, but lets you know when she's had it! Tony's family was all there and my parents were there for her birth as well. It was a good day. I got pretty sick after the surgery (I still blame the morphine!) and the recovery hasn't been as speedy as I remember Aria's being. Friday morning, Tony started not feeling well again. Thankfully he had pain meds and was able to make it thru the day. Saturday morning things turned from bad to worse for him. I looked at him and said "we're in the hospital! Go downstairs to the ER get something stronger for pain and see what else they can do". So, he did. A CT showed the stent was plugged up about an inch deep with stones. A call was made to Tony's doc in Great Falls and even tho he was not on call or anything that weekend, he agreed to have Tony come in and "clean him out for good" this time! To have a doctor come in on his day off is saying something. Tony's brother, Dustin, drove him down for the procedure on Sunday. They basically flushed the left kidney out for 15 minutes. In the meantime, my doctor, who was fully aware of our situation over the past few weeks, pretty much said even tho I could go home, he wanted me to stay one more day as "we can take good care of you while your husband is recovering". We all returned home Monday. Tony and his mom brought Taryn and I home. Tony had a sample cup and the bottom of it was covered in stones that had been retrieved from the stent. One wonders how much more could've been in there from the whole process.

The stent comes out Sept. 9. Tony went back to work yesterday. He's on light duty aka office work this week. He had his manager at work covering calls and messages when Tony was out ( July 14 - August 28). I guess the 3 stacks are about an inch or so thick each. Thankfully, working the the medical field, one has to just say kidney stone and surgery, and people are pretty understanding! Once the stent is out, this will be over. Then on to long term treatment and prevention. I imagine Tony will have a CT or Xrays done at least yearly to see if there is more stones forming. Diet and exercise don't help prevent these stones. He's missing a gene that doesn't process protein efficiently. Meds and hydration are the main thing in prevention and even that is no guarantee. We know what the problem is, it's just finding something that will keep recurrence to a minimal. Tony's family have been just awesome thru all of this. They mowed our yard, vacuumed, washed floors, watched over our dogs (including poop patrol!), cooked meals, kept Aria on surgery days, and just checked in frequently. We couldn't have made it thru without them. Many of you emailed, called to check in, sent cards... it's been wonderful! Our church is now supplying meals to us on a daily basis and that has been a wonderful blessing, too! I can't tell you how this has really helped us. Words seems to fail me. I truly believe that it has been everyone's support that helped us get thru this! Other than August 8, I have been fairly optimistic and positive. Perhaps hormones play into that, but honestly, we are really blessed with great family and friends.




I've included some pictures of Taryn and of Aria's first day of kindergarten (!) as if this momma didn't have enough to deal with, I sent my little girl off to school on top of everything else! She so far seems to like it, tho she told me the other day that they don't have the dress up clothes like preschool and they only time they get to play is recess! Another Aria-ism for you: The other day, Taryn's cord stump fell off. Aria was there and promptly went to find her dad to let him know "Taryn's cork came out, dad! Her cork is out!" Life is slowly getting back to normal. Taryn had her days and night confused, but I think we're getting that reversed. I plan to return to work the end of Sept. (the doc wanted me to take off 2 months, but we agreed to a month after some strenuous negotiations!). My mom will come up when I return to work to be my daycare for Taryn till she has to leave. I have a wonderful daycare person (highly recommended if you live in the Rudyard region, tho I think she's booked for now!), but want to keep Taryn home as long as possible, just cause it's fall and kids tend to share more illnesses than usual with school resuming and all.

I hope you haven't all been bored to tears with this update, I've just gotten some questions and felt this was the best way to address them. I hope it made sense and clears up any confusion. Again, thanks for all your support and prayers. The care we received in both Great Falls and Havre was outstanding. We're both on the road to recovery and look forward to a "normal" day soon!

I'd like to take this opportunity to come out against Obamacare. If we were on universal healthcare, there would be no way Tony would've been seen so quickly. We maybe would still be waiting for the first appointment! Yes, our medical bills will be high, but after a (rough) month, we're almost done. Please, for those who maybe think universal healthcare is the way to go, RECONSIDER!!! Paying more for our bills is much more worth it than waiting... and waiting... and waiting.

I've had a few chances to watch some preseason NFL. While in the hospital, I was feeding Taryn, watching a game, and thought does life get any better?! I can't wait for regular season to start... I'm gonna have to post my preseason picks soon!

A picture worth a thousand words

No denying it, Aria is very proud of her little sister!

Welcome to the world and to our family Taryn Kennedy. She weighed in at 9 lbs. 3 oz., is 20 inches long. She is pretty mellow, so far. I have to say that Tony and I make pretty good looking babies, but I'm a bit biased! I am feeling better, the pain isn't quite as intense. We'll be staying in the hospital one more day as Taryn's bilirubin count is up, so she's "tanning" under a bililite for the day and they want to check her levels tomorrow to see if she needs to go home with the bililite or not. AND, Tony had another surgery done this morning in Great Falls. He had a stent placed in his left ureter and the day after Taryn was born, he started getting worse and worse pain in the area. He couldn't take it, and since we were already in the hospital, I told him to go to the ER and have it checked out. A CT showed the stent was plugged with stones again. So, his doctor had Tony come down early this morning to clean him out. From what I hear, this should be it for stones. But Tony usually feels pretty rough after surgery, so my doctor and I agreed I should just stay in the hospital one more night. I'll tell you what, we will really appreciate normal health once we all start feeling better. I am so grateful for Tony's family: Dustin drove Tony down to Great Falls, Craig brought our camper home for us as Tony couldn't today, Heidi has been so good about checking in on me and watching our dogs and Rick and Debbie have had Aria all weekend so she didn't have to hang out at a hospital again (2nd home away from home lately!). We are so blessed with all our families and are even more blessed to have a healthy, beautiful little girl to bring home!

There IS light at the end of the tunnel!

Weeelll, after 3, count 'em, 3! surgeries, Tony may be done. The first surgery got 60% of the 2 inch x 3 inch stone. He started bleeding, so the doc stopped the procedure. The 2nd surgery they cleared out the other kidney and got a little bit more of the bigger stone. The time in between each surgery was a week. Tony was pretty much bed bound and to stand and walk to the bathroom and back was too painful for him to bear. I was doing dressing changes every other day and monitoring his tube sites into his back. The right side liked to plug up a lot, so I was flushing that frequently, too. The 3rd surgery, this past Monday, they blasted the remaining large stone and manually removed it. According to the doctor, they cleaned him out as much as they could. That means there is more in there, but they can't get to it and it is most likely "stuck" and will either stay there or eventually work itself out. We have a follow up appointment with the doc this Thursday, where they will take some x-rays and determine if they are done and hopefully, remove the 2 nephrostomy tubes. I think then, Tony will feel next to 100% better. It has been very hard. Tony is not one to sit around the house. It pretty much drives him crazy. I have to admit, I felt like I was doing pretty good till after the 2nd surgery and the doc said there was more to come. I lost it that day. All I could picture was me sitting alone in the operating room, getting ready for baby to come and Tony was in another hospital somewhere else. I never wanted to be a single mom!! I know it sounds dramatic, but my mind and probably hormones went there that day. The tunnel was long and very black. No light. I was also unable to be with Tony that day as I had to work. His parents were with him, and while I know they were looking after him quite well, to not be there myself, I felt helpless and hopeless. But, I had my little moment, and things got better. I am really grateful to Tony's family for their awesome support and help they have been. My sister, Marcia sent tons of flowers and balloons and called ALOT, which was wonderful. My mom came up for a few days and helped out around the house, too. It all was such a blessing. I am very anxious to talk to the doc about long term plans and what, if anything, we can do for our kids as far as heredity is concerned. We powered thru! I am one exhausted, very pregnant lady tho. But, I'd do it forever if I had to. No one can care for my husband like I can!

So, onto baby stuff. I am scheduled for a c-section August 18 at 7:30 am. I had my pre-op visit with the surgeon yesterday and I really liked him. Tony was having his final surgery that day, so he couldn't be there, and I wished he had been. I had heard some things about this doc and I was a little nervous to meet him. Thankfully, I was quite wrong and the guy was very informative, and very friendly. No worries! Until Tony is 100% (and his has like 9 days to get there!), I really have been in a holding-like mode. No baby till he's better, I'd say. I can say now that I'm ready! I am very excited to meet her and see what she will look like, what her personality will be like. How different will her and Aria be, how similar? If there is one thing that makes me sad thru all of this is how will Aria and my relationship change, if at all? For the last 5 and 1/2 years, it's been her and me. Granted, she'll be starting kindergarten and I'm sure that will keep her somewhat occupied, but I just wonder how different our lives will be. I know it'll probably be okay, like everything else ends up being, but it's something I've thought alot about lately. I have to keep reminding myself I wondered about this same thing when it was just Tony and I. Life just made sense after Aria was born. The transition from a family of 2 to a family of 3 was hardly a transition at all. It actually felt natural and right. So, I have to have faith that addition number 4 will be the same way.

Thanks to everyone who has kept us in your prayers and thoughts lately. I've been too busy to personally thank all of you, but please know that I really appreciate all my family and friends. Your prayers and concern have literally kept us going!

Football and Facebook

In what has been a rather hard week, some happy news brightened my day today. The NFL is back on! And it's coming out guns a-blazin'! Free agency is happening like mad, trades and deals are being made like every minute. I'm so happy to know the season will start without too much a hitch. I kind of thought it might, but there was always that "what if" in the back of my head. So, yay football! I hope the league has enough sense to try and make it up to us crazy, loyal fans somehow. We love the game, but the greed and attitude shown these last few months was a bit disturbing.

Speaking of disturbing, I have come across something that really has been bugging me and I need to get it off my grumpy chest. For the last week, I've been sort of updating Tony's facebook profile, per his request to keep facebook "friends" posted on the latest. He has 99 "friends" on there. Do you know how many people of these supposed "friends" sent well wishes for his surgery? Um, like 11. Wow! Nice to know people care. So I did some further research/stalking. Some of you who read this were my "victims". Some of you have 100's (REALLY?!) of "friends". You may have had a birthday recently; not even half of your "friends" wished you a happy birthday! I would think that if a person were my "friend", they could at least wish me a happy birthday or wish me well on a rather major surgical event. This bothers me greatly. Maybe it's why I shun facebook. Why have a "friend" when all they're really concerned about is updating their own profile to mention what they did for fun all weekend while their "friend" suffered in a hospital with no mention of "hey take care, buddy" or "thinking about you". It's a self-serving, self-promoting piece of garbage in my book. And, perhaps, I would become a hypocrite and self-promote myself if I were to get a facebook account. Maybe that is the underlying theme with facebook. But it bothers me. One can chose to ignore or acknowledge someone elses issues at will. Now I'll be reasonable; a post of "went to the store and bought groceries" (while stupid) doesn't need a response. But to me, a post of "having surgery today. wish me luck" requires a response, esp. if that person is a close friend... someone who would have the honor of being my facebook "friend". Just saying. Same thing with a birthday or other major life event. This is a chance to send your thoughts and best wishes to that person, since you can't do it in person. Or do I have a weird expectation of facebook and what it should be? Is it mostly to let people know how you are and that's it? "Who cares about your life, cuz mine is too important... look how popular I am with all my "friends""!!! That is the message I got this past weekend with facebook. Yes, most of you are on my guilty list too. Sorry, but either be a friend and send along your wishes, or don't bother friend requesting if all you're worried about is NOT checking in on all 30082 "friends" you have to keep up with on freakin' facebook! BTW, this includes emails and phone calls, too. Don't be a stranger and call to check up on your 8 months pregnant friend (who to say is feeling overwhelmed would be an understatement... listen to the song Sinking by Jars of Clay to get where I'm coming from right now) caring for her incapacitated husband and 5 year old daughter who doesn't understand why mommy and daddy can't play with her like normal!

Tony will be having surgery again August 1. The doc was able to get at only 60% of the stone in his left kidney. The stone (or rock) is 2 inches x 3 inches (yes, inches!). They were using a rather new machine to bust the stone into smaller pieces. The doc didn't count on the stone being that large, so it took longer for them to get at it. Tony was in surgery for about 4 1/2 hours. Tony started bleeding, so the doc decided to stop the procedure. He'll go after the remaining 40% and the right kidney the next surgery and then hopefully Tony can start to recover! Tony has a nephrostomy tube into both kidneys. He's in a lot of pain and can tolerate standing for only a few minutes at a time. I miss my Tony. He stays in bed almost all day as that is where he's most comfortable. Poor guy. It's hard to watch someone suffer and not be able to do anything about it. I truly hope his next procedure the doc can clean everything out and then Tony can start the healing process. August 18 will be here before we know it! And then, the fun begins... not that I'm not having "fun" now.

Maybe get a glass of ice tea or coffee for this one!

Wow! A month has passed and it seems like just a few days! I guess that is a good thing considering how close I am to D-day (delivery day). I will do my best to update, but let's get a few things out of the way first.

1.) Okay, it's mid-July... why the hype about the heat?! Seriously, who is surprised at the 3 digit numbers? And if you are, then get on some Namenda or something. July is always hot, people! I am 8 months pregnant and I am not complaining cuz I am not dumb. I am fully aware that mid-July is hot. Granted, it was barely breaking the 70's like last week, but still, this kind of weather is not at all surprising. Remember, everyone, to stay hydrated and if you're home doesn't have AC, your car surely must. If your car doesn't... well, then you need to get a good paying job so you can afford this modern luxury and quit whining!

2.) Rep. Sheila Jackson: you are the reason racism exists in our culture and you alone. Republicans are bucking Obama on the debt ceiling because of common sense, not skin color you nit-wit! If this is the best argument she can come up with we are in serious trouble.

3.) Casey Anthony. *head shakes* What a fiasco. While I believe her actions surrounding her daughter's death are very suspicious, and had I been on that jury it would've been very hard to get past that alone, I have to reluctantly agree with the jury's verdict. There just wasn't enough hard core, fact based evidence to convict on the charges she was facing. Now had her charges been like negligent homicide or something, but I'm no lawyer. Clearly, she was irresponsible, and one of her sentences should've included automatic sterilization. But there are a lot of people who should be handed that particular sentence, in my book.

4.) Our governor here in Montana is such an ignoramus. The oil spill accident in the Yellowstone River was just that: an accident! Much of the state has been inundated with high waters due to a wet, wet spring. Most likely, the leak was caused by debris in the rushing waters of the rising Yellowstone River. Exxon-Mobile did not intend for this to happen and once they found out about it, they resolved the problem as fast as they could. Their response to me was timely and efficient. Now there are people out there who are looking to make a quick buck or two and their knee-jerk reaction of who's gonna pay for my long term suffering was not at all surprising. But for the Governor to come out and bully Exxon-Mobile and accuse them and everyone involved with the clean upon how to do their job and take soil samples is just plain stupid. Who is my source on all of this? My dad, who has been working very closely with government officials and Exxon-Mobile people alike. And how much will you bet that by maybe even next summer, one won't even know there was an oil spill in that region? Oil is a product of nature and nature cleans up after itself rather well. We humans just can't learn that.

Now on to news closer to home! First off, I am scheduled for a c-section August 18. I picked that day in homage to my sister Marcia, as she has a b-day on the 18 (it's just in March, but the day is right!). I also didn't like the idea of having a kid on an odd day... no real explanation for that. I'm not really superstitious, I just like even days better for some reason. The name we have picked for her is Taryn Kennedy. I picked Taryn as it's a bit unique and there are 2 A's in the family, now there will be 2 T's. Kennedy is for Tony's grandpas, both named Kenneth. Kennedy was as close as we could get to Kenneth. Now just in case this girl turns out to be a boy, the name would be Royce Kenneth. Tony's great-grandpa Miller was Roy... so we were clearly looking to his family for name choices this time around. For some reason, with the date picked out now, I am suddenly very excited about her arrival. Not that I wasn't before, just without the date in place, I felt like I had lots of time to prepare and all. I think as far as nursery and all goes, I'm ready. I have tons of clothes, we buy diapers and formula whenever we go grocery shopping, I kept most everything of Aria's when she was a baby, so I think we're just waiting for her arrival and then settle into a family of 4 (which will remain that way; we're done. I plan to have my tubes ties since I'll already be under the knife, FYI). Just in time for Aria to start Kindergarten!

Tony is anxiously awaiting surgery this Friday, July 22. A little background: when Tony was 25, he developed kidney stones. Okay, no problem. People get these a lot. So a round of lithotripsy, some pain meds and off he went to pass them at home and be done with it. Six months later, we were back in the ER with more kidney stone problems. So a stent was placed, more pain meds and off he went to pass them at home. Six months later, we were back in the ER. So this time a nephrostomy tube was placed (like a catheter directly into the kidney) as the stone was blocking his ureter and causing major swelling in the kidney. We also found out this time around that his stones were called cystine stones. Cystine stones are found in only 1-2% of all kidney stones that are formed. They are very rare and hard to treat. Lithotripsy doesn't work on these stones as they are too hard to break up. They usually have to be removed surgically. Cystinuria as it's called is genetic. However, no one that we are aware of in Tony's family has this condition. And it usually occurs in childhood. Cystine stones form rapidly and often. About the only way to prevent them is lots of hydration and medication intervention. Tony had 2 more stents after the nephrostomy tube and the last occurrence happened about 6 years ago. He passes a few stones a year, but has gotten quite used to the pain and the symptoms that what for the average person might take them out of commission for a while, he just powers right thru. After visiting with nephrologist in Billings several years ago, he put Tony on a medicine called Captopril, which while for blood pressure, had shown good results in decreasing the amount of cystine stone formations in an individual. It did work well. So well, that Tony kind of slacked off in the pill taking dept. He would take his pills if he felt a stone coming on (yah, he has gotten that aware of his condition), and then the problem would go away. Till about 3 weeks ago. He saw our family doctor about some pain pills as he was passing stones but needed something for break through pain. He figured he'd pass all the stones and just needed some help for the pain till it was over. July 13, he couldn't take it anymore. We headed to the ER. Tony was hoping for a stronger pain med, but the Doctor wanted to do a CT scan to see what exactly was going on. Good thing we did! Tony's right kidney has 2 stones, one is half way down the ureter and stuck. It's blocking the kidney and consequently the kidney is swelling and left untreated could die. The left kidney had the doctor just amazed. It is literally filled with stone that is called a staghorn stone. These are very large and very bad stones. They will not pass on their own and the only intervention is surgery. We went to Great Falls July 14 and Tony had a nephrostomy tube placed in the right kidney to alleviate the swelling. Remarkably, the left side he's had no pain. The tube obviously has relieved some of the pain, but the tube is very uncomfortable and he is on stronger pain meds to decrease some of the pain and discomfort associated with it. On Friday, they will go thru the tube and removed the stones on the right side. They will place a nephrostomy tube into the left kidney, use laser ultrasound to breakup the large staghorn stone into smaller pieces and remove all the remaining sediment from that. The doctor thinks he can get it all in one setting, but it may take a while. Once this is done, other than some soreness from digging around the kidneys, he should be pain-free almost instantly. This is no guarantee he'll get stones again. This particular condition is chronic. Many people with cystinuria end up on disability as they spend more time in hospitals than not. We've been very fortunate. This isn't your classic case, get kidney stones once and your done experience. My other major concern is one of heredity. How Tony has this when no one else in his family does is a mystery. But we'll have to discuss with the doctor at some point if our kids will need to be tested to see if they have it or are carriers of it. So, I hope this sheds some light as to what is going on with him. He can't wait for this to be over, and well, neither can I. I want my Tony back... he hasn't been himself for over 3 weeks! Plus, he needs to be better to take care of me in a few weeks (sound selfish? well, maybe a little!)

So, keep us in your prayers. We have wonderful family support here and are doing well otherwise. I'll try to keep you updated as best I can.

Dads Day

I wish all great dads out there a very Happy Father's Day! I am so blessed to have a wonderful dad and to be married to a great someone who is a great dad to our daughter! I love you, Tony and I love you, Dad!

I AM... the pregnancy version

Thanks to my friend, Amy. (Told you I'd "steal" this!) I love posts like this and I thought I could tie this in with my current state of being: aka Pregnancy!

I am

missing: My toes! They are down there somewhere... I can feel them, just can't see 'em!
wearing: Grey t-shirt, khaki shorts. Yes, we are finally warm enough for this kind of clothing! Thanks to my awesome sis, Marcia, who has me dressing rather well this pregnancy.
working on: Getting baby's room finished. I am almost there!
eating: Just finished some butterscotch pudding. I really don't deprive myself at all during pregnancy. Except caffeine (I miss you, old friend *sniff*).
dreaming of: Anything but this baby! Is it weird I have had not ONE dream about this kid?! I had tons about Aria and I remember them all well... mostly. I haven't had one this whole pregnancy. It's okay, I guess, just weird.
realizing: Today is June 13... WHAT?!?!?! This month is WAY TOO BUSY!
impatiently waiting for: June 27... prenatal appointment and hopefully we can find out for sure if this baby is a boy or girl!
anticipating: The arrival of this baby about the same time Aria starts kindergarten.
loving: The fact that I have not gained any where near the weight I did with Aria (yet!) and have no new stretch marks!!! Yay!
thinking about: How tired I feel, but am too busy to do anything about it! Seriously, Aria has basketball camp, T-ball, VBS, swimming lessons all crammed in this month on top of Tony and my already busy schedule. We have a major activity going on every day of this month, I kid you not. It's fine, actually, but wow! And Aria just finished soccer.
feeling: uncomfortable. I think it's called Braxton-Hicks. I don't recall having them with Aria, so this is new territory for me. And this baby kicks hard and it hurts! I also like how I grunt every time I bend over: *hum-phrah!* Nice. How attractive am I right now?!
listening to: Some "old school" Reality Check. Good stuff, Good memories! (thanks again, Shosh!)
reading: Believe it or not, I am actually reading a book right now (don't give me too much credit tho, I've had it for a few months and am not quite half way thru). Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover. Getting some good ideas and prepping for some major changes in the Miller house, finance wise!